My fiance and I have opted to not have children at our wedding, we are hosting

[Shannon P]

it ourselves. No family help.? The venue we fell in love with is small and only holds 130 guests. We are not having flowergirls/ringbearers. We are extremely close to our friends and only see family members on holidays. I have let my side of the family know about the situation and they have no problem, however some aunts and uncles on my fiance's side have already called my future father in law to complain. I truly feel it is our wedding, our day, we are young and a lot of drinking and dancing will be going on. Opinions???

[SnowSkin]

Hi Shannon, I am not sure if you're an Asian but I am. Right here in Singapore, we (Chinese) normally hold the wedding celebration twice. Once is for the Solemnization where the couple exchange vows and the other is the traditional dinner where we invite relatives. (Most couples want to make everything in a day but I find that very taxing)So, what my fiance and I have done is ... we make it known to our family members that only close friends and ex colleagues are invited to our solemnization at a lunch whereas relatives will be invited to a dinner at a later time. This really save us a lot of trouble and I'm sure you do not wish to entertain so many circles of guests/relatives at one time! It's a wedding for you both. Make it happy and not stressful.I hope this helps!

[maria 48]

kids don't take up much space, and who cares if there's drinking they won't be.

[StarGazer]

It's very difficult for my husband and I to attend weddings where children aren't allowed. We would like to, but sometime's its impossible to get a sitter. I understand that you don't have children yet, and don't understand this situation yet. I was in that boat once. My sister had my babyshower when I was pregnant with my first kid. My sister had specifically stated on the invitations that no children were allowed. My babyshower was lonely because all of my friends had children. It really hurt. So I would suggest making accomidations for everybody. It will look better on your part. One day you will have children, and understand.

[Sarrah]

Its' your wedding do it your way........

[ellen_ricard]

Ha, funny you should say this. I just went through the exact same situation with my best friends wedding. His family did not like the idea of not having any children at the wedding, since he has small children in his family. They are both young and all of our friends were coming in for the wedding. We all planned on heavy drinking. They explained that to the people who were complaining. They eventually got over it and saw that they were truly sticking to their guns. All the family members that were complaining got babysitters and went to the beautiful wedding. And in the end, the parents took it as a night out to themselves. As moms I'm sure we know that doesn't happen often! If they love you, they will respect your opinion, and get somebody to watch the children and attend your wedding.Good Luck and Congrats!! =)

[Jean H]

It's your wedding, not theirs.I understand some will find it hard to impossible to come without the kids. Some due to babysitter details-some will feel like you are slighting and somehow insulting their kids. Just keep repeating that the place is small, you don't feel the party afterwards is in any way appropriate for kids. I live in an area where the dance is open for all family, kids included. There's drinking there, but it never turns into a wild party. As I grew up with the acceptance of children at wedding dances I'm not understanding why you consider it inappropriate. Then again, the celebrations here don't evolve into wild drunkfests. I would ask if the kids would be possibly allowed at the ceremony, the pictures and cake cutting stuff and whisk them off as the band starts tuning up? How many kids are you talking about and what age? Would setting an age limit be an option? My sister married in the Caribbean's. Brother in law's family held a big reception/welcome home event for the couple upon their arrival back in the states. Both sides of the family were included. Consider perhaps a small post wedding reception back at your fiance's home that the kids could be at. Gives you a chance to wear your dress again

[Tasha]

Perhaps you could have a separate party thing for the other relatives later on?Or, just tell them, it's your wedding, not theirs.

[gizzychik]

STAY STAUNCH to your decision, its your day!!!!That is exactly what I did, it was a huge decision for my husband and I to have 'no children' at our wedding reception as there are alot of kids in our family. Alot of people brought kids to the ceremony and then dropped them off to baby sitters while we were having our bridal photo's which was great (our ceremony was in a local botanical gardens). My reception venue allowed for only 110 people and it was down by a wharf by the water. Some family members noses were out of joint (before the day) at the 'no kids idea' But after the whole event everyone agreed that it was a great idea, as the night was perfect, and the atmosphere was sooo relaxed and the night went smoothly and all the parents enjoyed the reception with out having to worry about their kids.Although we had our 4 children there as they were also in our wedding party and they were the only children there and that was cool with everyone.My cousin (mother of 5) enjoyed a break from her kids and thoroughly enjoyed her time at the wedding.Other couples took turns eg. one parent came to the meal and speeches and then went home and then her husband came down later and enjoyed a few beers with the groom while she was at home with the kidsDon't stress people get over it.

[thydarknight]

It's your wedding and you should do invite or set it up the way you want it and not how other people want it. if you don't want children at your wedding that's your choose. and you should explain that to them. if they can't except it then they shouldn't go then in my opinion because you aren't forcing them to go. they need to let you plan your wedding the way you want it. Good luck and congratulations.